Monkey Parlor

… where the monkey ponders about bananas and world domination …

Archive for June 2006

Profiling With Google

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So, I came across this site last night. If you haven’t seen it, you have to check it out. The basic idea is to profile a group of people based on the top results from Google. Results are extremely funny. Accurate or not it does expose some of the stereoptypical views we hold. Being a geek, I can’t help but to wonder what more can Google can tell us about our human nature. So, I stayed up and wrote a little script myself to test it out. Instead of doing the top 15 and allowing only a group of people, I made it so that the script will respond based on the top 40 results of a particular thing or group searched on Google. Here are some of the more interesting results (unedited, take notes of nonsense due to lack of polish in my code; I’ve also highlighted some of the most “interesting” responses):

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watcha wanna noe?
…>Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton is known for her socialite ways, fashion, and boyfriends, Monica will always be known for that particular scandal.
Paris Hilton is known for her hard-partying ways.
Paris Hilton is known for many things from perfume and tiny dogs to reality TV and her signature line, “That’s hot!
Paris Hilton is known for anything but her music, and her debut album “Paris is Burning” is still in the making.
Paris Hilton is known for pulling things off (mainly clothing and scams to steal her friends boyfriends), but the shades she wore to Mekhi Phifer’s .
Paris Hilton is known for her blue eyes which look natural, even in close ups.
Paris Hilton is known for her elegant fashion statements.
Paris Hilton is known for driving across America with her friend Nicole, raising hell wherever they .
Paris Hilton is known for anything .
Paris Hilton is known for is showing up at every .
Paris Hilton is known for three things: her new tv show “The Simple Life,” getting trashed out in public, and her hardcore homemade porno.
Paris Hilton is known for three things: her new tv show “The Simple Life,” getting Three years later, Rick had the video tape stolen and it was sold on the .
Paris Hilton is known for three things: her new tv show “The Simple Life .
PARIS HILTON is known for the plethera of slutty outfits that she likes to wear.
Paris Hilton is known for three things: her new TV show “The Simple Life”, getting trashed out in public, and her hardcore homemade porno!
Paris Hilton is known for being over-the-top, but one area that she falls short on is her choice of tiaras.
Paris Hilton is known for three things: her new tv .
Paris Hilton is known for being a high society party girl, part time model and actress.
Paris Hilton is known for her hard-partying ways paris hilton video.
Paris Hilton is known for doing, all the stuff that royalty is known for doing, all the things that any famous person is known for doing .

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Written by divi

21/06/2006 at 5:29 am

Posted in Google, Internet, Silly, Useful

Phillips Norelco BG2020: Bodygroom for Men

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So, this ad's been flowing around the Inter-Web:

Heck, it even has a music video to go along w/ it too.

Get yours NOW & save 4 cents. What a deal!

Written by divi

14/06/2006 at 8:59 pm

Posted in Gadgets, Silly, Useful, Video, WTFs

Lying with Statistics

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Answer to this "Triangular Paradox." As the old saying goes: "don't believe everything you see." You also need to think about it!

Written by divi

09/06/2006 at 5:08 am

Posted in Cool Stuff

The Yes-man

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Recently, Stephen Colbert (the Colbert Report Fame) gave a commencement speech at Knox College. Some bits are quite funny and some are pretty profound. Here is a snippet:

But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you. Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don’t understand why we’re here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots.

But you seem nice enough, so I’ll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply for your first job, don’t wear these robes. Medieval garb does not instill confidence in future employers—unless you’re applying to be a scrivener. And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you’ll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.

So, say “yes.” In fact, say “yes” as often as you can. When I was starting out in Chicago, doing improvisational theatre with Second City and other places, there was really only one rule I was taught about improv. That was, “yes-and.” In this case, “yes-and” is a verb. To “yes-and.” I yes-and, you yes-and, he, she or it yes-ands. And yes-anding means that when you go onstage to improvise a scene with no script, you have no idea what’s going to happen, maybe with someone you’ve never met before. To build a scene, you have to accept. To build anything onstage, you have to accept what the other improviser initiates on stage. They say you’re doctors—you’re doctors. And then, you add to that: We’re doctors and we’re trapped in an ice cave. That’s the “-and.” And then hopefully they “yes-and” you back. You have to keep your eyes open when you do this. You have to be aware of what the other performer is offering you, so that you can agree and add to it. And through these agreements, you can improvise a scene or a one-act play. And because, by following each other’s lead, neither of you are really in control. It’s more of a mutual discovery than a solo adventure. What happens in a scene is often as much a surprise to you as it is to the audience.

Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say “yes.” And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say “yes” back.

Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.”

And that’s The Word.

Written by divi

05/06/2006 at 2:30 pm

Posted in People, Thoughts

Gone Fishing

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Hi there, long time no see. I’ve been wanting to throw in a few posts here and there. But, I just didn’t feel like I had enough interesting things to say. So, I thought I might as well shut up for awhile and let my mind wander for a bit. I’ve finally came back from my month-long vacation. Much to talk about, but I think I’m just gonna let the pictures speak for themselves (link to flickr is to your right. it’s still a work-in-progress. so, check back often). Until next time… Peace out.

Written by divi

03/06/2006 at 3:54 am

Posted in General